Inspirational beatboxing

My daughter is like a cat. She takes absolutely no notice of anything I say and is basically impossible to teach.

Admittedly, I have no teaching qualifications, At all. But I have always known, somehow, that I would be an amazing teacher. The kind of teacher that they make inspirational films about.

I decided that the teachers at school can take care of the basics, that’s what they’re “trained” for, and when my kids get home I will inspire them to reach new heights of achievement. It will be amazing. They will be so inspired they won’t even realise they are learning.

There have, admittedly, been some bumps in the road. My number line beatboxing had a similar effect to my tooth brushing beatboxing. Hilarity without any progress towards any goals. And then there’s my daughter. She will see the word “The” in a reading book, a word she knows very well, and confidently say the most random word she can think of, “Cat”, just for her own amusement. And her writing. If archaeologists found it etched into a clay tablet in a viking tomb they would assume they had discovered a new civilisation.

Not on my watch. I inspired the heck out of her. The results were always the same, no matter how amusing and inspiring my beatboxing was. Her practice sentence would consist of a couple of bizarre hieroglyphics that she would carefully colour in.

Last week I gave up. She is completely unteachable. Perhaps she just expects the rest of the world to change the way they write.

Then yesterday something bizarre happened. I noticed her writing her name on a birthday card. The letters were perfectly formed examples of standard cursive. I am utterly confused. How could this happen so quickly? And without my inspirational beatboxing?

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