Life is poo.

The way the world is at the moment is not to everyone’s taste, but that’s not what I mean. I mean, actual poo is everywhere and it is a vital part of life one our planet. As I like to tell my kids, Poo is a favourite food of plants and trees. They love it. Yum yum yum! And who eats plants and trees? Basically everyone and everything. Including us.

“So we eat poo?” My children ask, grinning.

“In a way, yes. But you must never eat poo. Seriously. Don’t eat poo.”

“And birds poo seeds!” My son tells me. “They poo seeds out when they are flying and the seed grows and makes a new tree!”

“Yes.” I agree. In my mind I give his teachers a high five. Teaching tag team!

“Daddy!” My son screeches. “There are seeds on this strawberry! Can those seeds grow out of our poo?”

“Yes. I suppose. I don’t know.”

“We should do an experiment!” My son says excitedly. “We could put our poo in a plant pot and see if strawberries grow out! But how do we get poo out of the toilet?” 

We all seem to have the same thought as we turn to look at my youngest. His face is covered in pulverised strawberry. He is still in nappies.

“He’s done a poo!” My daughter screams and we all rush to the scene. The operation to transfer the poo into the pot and cover it with compost is revolting, exciting and chaotic. The kids water it thoroughly. We put the pot on the windowsill. Satisfyingly, it does not smell. Somehow this all feels normal.

Nothing grows from the pot. Especially after my youngest excavates his poo out of the pot with his bare hands.

Summer holidays week two.